Monday, October 05, 2009

general update

Nothing too exciting to report. Well, that's not exactly true. I got to see Ralph and his family this weekend. I was really glad to see them. They're doing well. Yay!

I noticed on Demented's facebook page he's now got wheels again. I'm really glad. I know how much driving means to him. I hope he's been able to just go for drives in the country like he used to do.

Mostly, I'm just here. Not _depressed_ like I've been in the past, just, well, not happy. Part of it deals with Rykujin and someone else I'll call Zed. I really like Zed. A lot. There's so much invested in Rykujin though. He's stated that he'll leave everything behind and go start a new life if that's what I want. Not exactly. I don't want Rykujin to leave all his things, he just got a new computer (see previous post) etc. He's doing on-line schooling... All that would stop. He's finally DOING something and now talking of throwing it all away and foreswearing relationships all together.

ARGH.

I don't know. Things are swirling around me and I feel lost in the maelstrom.

I was reading some stuff Nanonukie posted about her health and it made me think about mine. There's also a group on Ralvery for fibromyalgia sufferers. I've been lucky that I've not had a major flare up for a number of months now, just the usual cold and typical back pain that I can't seem to get rid of. That being said, I don't feed myself very well. I get fresh greens about once a month, eat too much meat and drink too much soda. The thing is, i don't really know how to shake myself out of it. Cooking is something I used to love to do, now it's just more work- a chore. There's little enjoyment in preparing meals. Part of that is trying to cook around Rykujin. He's a somewhat picky eater and then there's the onion allergy issue. Sitting and knitting (or spinning) is about as interesting as I get (I taught myself how to knit socks starting at the toes and going up to the cuff! Once I did one, it was easy. Thanks choperena!! =-)

What am I trying to get at? Hurm. I'm fed up with my life, at the moment. I need something to change. Today's song is NIN Every Day is Exactly the Same.

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream