Thursday, February 05, 2009


Well, I've managed to eek out some computer time to actually update my blog. Over all, my days have been relatively hum-drum. In general, I'm mildly melancholy, but there have been some bright spots to mitigate it somewhat.

I've been spending a large amount of time knitting socks, of all things. I'm on my third pair and I'm getting the hang of leg-down pretty well, but I still haven't found a good pattern for toe-down (starting at the toes as opposed to the leg opening). Willow showed me how to start toe-down and I can do it pretty well, but I'm lost when it comes to turning the heel. I originally thought one would just do it the reverse of leg-down, but somehow I'm missing something. It just doesn't work quite that way. So, Willow, if you read this let me know the magic of turning the heel on toe-down socks. =-) The first pair I made a while back. They're badly mismatched (in size) olive drab and black variegated  ankle socks. If it wasn't for the fact that one is about an inch too short on the foot length, they would be awesome. As it stands, they're a good first attempt at learning to read knitting patterns. The second pair I made in about 3 days. They're rainbow variegated (talk about loud and obnoxious =) standard acrylic yarn and they're pretty darn good,if I say so myself. I definitely did a better job on these, they're the right length and the stitches are all pretty even and tight. The current pair are for All√≥ and hers are a pink cotton yarn as the sturdy yarn with soft, silky, fuzzy acrylic in complimentary variegated yarn knitted together. The only down side is I only have 2 skeins of the fuzzy yarn and one is not quite enough for a single sock, so I'm using OTHER yarn to finish off the toes. Toes are the hardest part to look good for me, but *shrug* they feel good on the inside and that's what counts for now. 

Today's huge surprise was a ping on my Facebook page from JE, a cousin from my dad's side of the family! I've not seen her in 13 years and before that, I don't know how long it was. I cried when I got her note. She has a photo of my dad up and it's labeled 'favorite uncle, Uncle Brice'. It's the photo at the top of the blog. I never would have expected my dad to be in a red stripe polo shirt! LOL. To think that someone, somewhere in this vast expanse of digital ocean has a photo of my dad posted... I don't know, somehow it's extremely touching to me. Dad is a subject that doesn't get discussed very much with my mom. Ok, truth be told, it's almost never talked about. I guess seeing JE's photo made me realize there's many facets of my father that I've never witnessed- never even considered. Somehow, I've always been lead to believe that my Dad's side of the family didn't like me and wanted nothing to do with me, really. Seeing this today... it blew my socks off (no pun intended). 
I'm going to be 35 next month. It's a strange number to think of as my age. I wonder where all the time has gone, so many days counted together. I can remember ever so vaguely being over to JE's childhood home, just tiny snapshots and snippets of a long, long ago. Somehow everyone stays young in my mind, even myself at times. To think all these years have passed and yet there's still time... 

I might not be explaining myself very well, but hopefully, dear Reader, you at least kinda understand the feeling I can't quite express.

The school thing goes slowly. Fall will be the soonest I can go because my lease won't be up for changes until June30/July 1. I'm still floundering over how it's all going to work. Dealing with large crushes of people at class change as well as the mobility issue. I'm wondering if I can convince OVR to get me a Segway. It's still a good deal of standing, but it's a butt-load easier on my spine and knees as well as giving me a quick(er) escape from throngs of people... =-) I've been talking with my therapist about the school thing (as well as life in general). I think she thinks it's a good idea too. I still have almost no idea what I want to go back to school for, however. So much to learn and there's only one lifetime in which to learn it.
Secondary art education with a minor in Chinese? Computer security policy with a minor in Japanese? Theater arts (emphasis in costuming) with a minor in French?
Those and about a billion other ideas. Metals and fibers? Major in a language instead of minor in it? Ugh. It fries my brain sometimes.

Physically, I'm doing better. I was to have a cortisone epidural tomorrow (Thursday) but to do that, I have to be off Ibuprofen for 10 days. Well, I rescheduled it for April 23. I made it about 4 days without it and during that time, we've had a number of snow storms come through. My back and right knee are really messed up, to the point where I'm worried that they're in a flare-up that's going to take some time to beat into submission. I just couldn't stay off the ibuprofen. After starting back on it, by the end of the day I could tell a difference again. I'm constantly amazed at how much my medicines really do affect me. Sometimes I think 'quit being a whiner and do without. It's all in your head' then little episodes like this come along and remind me that I really do take them for a reason. *sigh* I really wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy. 

I'm also still dealing with the effects of the cold I had. I'm still almost completely deaf in my left ear. My right ear hears only 1/2 as well as my left when it's normal, something I never realized concretely until just recently. I'm asking people to repeat themselves almost continually. I've given up using the phone for the time being because I can't get it loud enough to hear properly even with my right ear (for years now, I use my left ear exclusively when I'm on the phone. Now I know why). It's very frustrating. I suppose that's not helping the melancholy. I feel disconnected and isolated in part because of this (also in part because I'm stuck here at home 99% of the time)

Well, that's my story for now and I'm sticking to it. I hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected. Love you all. Hugs!