I look around the apartment and see hundreds of things that I COULD do, things I SHOULD do, and then the things that I WILL do (like make phone calls, Ralph =) .
While I was growing up, many of you already know that my mom worked night shift as a nurse at the local state penitentiary. From 9pm till 6am, I was by myself from age 12 till I left home at 18. While I was convinced that occasionally the boogie man wandered around the house, I knew that to be ludicrous and generally didn't think much of it. Sure, sometimes I would be up till 1 am, but I was a good kid and usually hit the hay around 10 or 11. 8 hours 5 times a week I was alone. It was 'normal', you know?
Fast forward 16 years or so and suddenly it feels very strange during the day. I feel like I might be going through some sort of 'contact' withdrawal. Even now, I'm blogging and therefor trying to make contact, because I just need to. I don't know how to explain this sensation. Checking mail every 5 minutes, realizing there's no more web pages that I would normally check (already checked my facebook page like 9 times since I got up...) What in the world is wrong with me? It has to be that withdrawal thing. At home I'm pretty quiet most of the time (ok, excecpt if I'm in some chemically altered state but we won't go into that =) but there was still a person here to hear me out if I had some weird idea in my head or if I wanted an instant opinion on something. Now, I'm left to my own devices. Well, ok, my laptop, my phone, and my cats....
The one thing I noticed last night was it was *quiet*. Not that 'low burbling' that you hear from TVs on the other side of a closed door, but silence. Only the sound of my own blood coursing through my ears. I had not realized just how long it's been since I've heard silence. My gods, it was almost bliss! There was no fear of burglars, no goosebumps as I walked to bed, just golden silence.
well, the cat on my lap is emitting sleep waves as she dozes across my right arm (makes typing hard)
*hugs* to all