Saturday, December 06, 2008

Finally! A day with nothing scheduled!

I forgot how much I liked doing B&W photography in high school. My camera and computer make it so easy to modify the image. No more doing contact sheets and messing with an enlarger using red filters! Push-button publishing, indeed!

It's Saturday the 6th. The single day in about 2 weeks where I have nothing I have to do. No where I have to go, no business phone calls.
LIHEAP will wait till Monday, and so will my prescriptions. I'm out of Nexium, but I'm making do with chewable Malox and generic Zantac as well as watching what I eat and drink.

I owe a number of people calls, and there's a small mountain of things I need to get done (such as the damn LIHEAP thing). I've been so tired when I get home the last while back. Achy, hungry and just plain exhausted. Most nights I get home and nap for about 4 hours, get up and eat something, then back to bed 2 hours later, only to get up again at 6AM and start all over.

The best thing is that CJ came home yesterday!!! *does happy dance* It's still going to be a slow recovery. She's not allowed to lift, pull, or push anything over 10lbs. Because of that, she cannot walk Lady, her pudgy, little terrier. That falls into my (or prefrably Rykujin's) baliwick for a while. She lives on the second floor of her apartment, so she's going to have to be careful going up and down stairs for a bit, as well as bundle up well, covering her nose and mouth. Getting pneumonia or even a cold right now is Very Bad. Let alone coughing making her chest hurting from where they sawed her sternum apart, her immune system is very weak and must be built back up. She's not allowed to drive until sometime in February. Walking and even standing make her very very tired. Even yesterday's stop at Wal-Fart and her riding the motorized scooter thing wiped her out (and caused her no end of discomfort because it sometimes takes more than 10lbs pressure to steer them!! Things I never thought about.) It's a pushed wheel chair for her for a while.

I still amazed at all the ramifications of having heart attacks. Our medicine is still barbaric in so many ways (eg hacking open your chest and sewing veins 'harvested' [their word, not mine] from your thigh onto your heart). Triple bypass surgery. Something you hear about but usually don't get too close to. Seeing her post-op with the trach, a cut down on her neck (ask me and I'll explain, but it's a little gruesome for here, at the moment I feel.) and tubes just coming out from everywhere on her body, it seemed. A moment where that dawing understanding of just how fragile we are. So soft and squishy. Something I've not seen up close and personal in years (since my mom stopped taking me to accidents with her [no babysitter at the time] since she was a first responder for PEMS. I was 8-10 at the time. Head on tree collision, DUI, no seatbelts. 30 feet back and you can still see what happened.)

Now she's looking better than she had for months, aside from pain associated with the operation itself, she's feeling better, still weak, but I think that's to be expected. She flew through the whole process on wings. To think, though, that it was a matter of life or death. *shudder* I push that part out of my mind 99% of the time.

Ok. Time for food. *hugs and love* to you all.

Monday, December 01, 2008

I really do get an 'I told you so!'

Over at, the economy entered a recession one year ago this month. It's a horrible feeling, knowing that when I wrote about the economy tanking back in October 2007, I wasn't wrong, no matter how alarmist I may have seemed. Today alone, the down dropped over 650 points. Most people I talk to or read about (and that does include people in stocks, banks and other financial places, not just 'left wing wackos') say that the worst still hasn't happened.

Sadly, I believe it.

overall, it's been a sedate day. I've not felt too great, really exhausted. I've spent almost all day sleeping. I think the big event for the day was taking a shower. woo! how exciting.

Mulling a number of things over in my mind, possibly relocating to Pittsburgh next summer, Q, cats, feeling run down, feeling isolated.

The last one factors into all the other ones. This feeling of isolation is becoming rough. My day consists of watching snippets of Angel (Rykujin's latest watch-fest), wanting to do something and having no idea what. Never getting time ALONE exactly (when I'm most likely to clean/redd up), but not really living IN anything either. I feel like I'm one of those Sims characters that just goes back and forth between the kitchen, the bathroom, and bed. All I have to do now is wait till my stove catches fire, I guess. No life really to speak of. Transportation and a serious lack of cash factor in but I have very little ways around it. I'd love to save up for a car, but when I scrape the change out of the jar 1 week after I'm paid just to buy a 1/2 gallon of milk, well, saving for Pennsic, let alone a car becomes difficult. wah wah wah. Sorry for whining.

going back to sleep. *HUG* to you all