Tuesday, September 04, 2007

late start today...

I was up till 5AM sorting books and cleaning up in general. I got the JVC receiver working so I could at least get the radio! huzzah. There's 3 large boxes ready to donate to the library. There's a good deal of other books that still need to be gone through yet. All my fabric has been sorted (and I even thrown out ugly fabric that I know I'll never use.) I'm getting better at tossing things. The place is actually starting to look nice. That's the good.

Now the bad. I was a couple of months late in sending my payment in for my health insurance (pa workers with disabilities medical access- AKA M.A.) but I did send the full amount in ($260) on 8/31. problem is , that was the day they wanted it in by. SO, for now, I have no insurance, it could be a couple of weeks till it kicks back in, there's no guarantee that it will be retroactive, therefore I don't know about going to Counsel House and I *sure as hell* cannot afford my medications (I'm looking at somewhere over $700 a month if it was out of pocket)

The final kicker is that I'm broke broke broke. =) I have enough quarters to dry at least one load of laundry a week, so that's good, but nothing else at all. No gas, no food (but at least I've got a well stocked freezer and cupboards, so that's not too bad. I didn't have enough to pay electric ($61) phone ($130 since I was late before and got zapped the 'reconnection fee' *sigh*) and a few other minor bills that are just hanging around but not life or death. I mean, at the moment, none of it is really life or death. Coming from me, that's a good sign. =)

Over all, I'm holding up pretty well. I actually called people (got StudDragon's new address to start sending him postcards again. I may start doing that with every one. =) Maybe I'll try setting aside an hour every Sunday or something and write postcards out to everyone (Hey, Granger, I think I need your mailing address. Get back to me on that one when you get a chance, please. I have Case's C&J, and StudDragon's now. =)

The part that most concerns me is that I might start running out of meds before this is all resolved with M.A. That might cause some mood issues. I called CH earlier, but it was too late in the day to talk with TheHeadCheese, so I'm expecting to talk with him tomorrow and find out what should be happening. I know it's my own fault, I can make up excuses about this or that, but really it comes down to me using my own money wisely, and, as we have all seen

Dory can be pretty dumb sometimes.

no need to even really mention allowing weird people into my home. I think everyone I've told has chastised me (and, all things considered, rightly so. For all I know he could have been another Ted Bundy or something)

I just got your postcard, StudDragon. I have to agree
Impulse Control = 0;
Are you sure we both aren't Borderline Personality?
anyhow, just got kissed by a dragonfly. lol Irony at its best.
got to go check on my laundry. **HUGS** to you all

Monday, September 03, 2007

Stone Sour "Through The Glass" kind of weekend.

" I'm looking at you through the glass...
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head

How do you feel? That is the question
But I forget.. you don't expect and easy answer
When something like a soul becomes
Initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You cant expect a bit of hope
And while your outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what your staring at is me"

Hair is still blond because I'm not sure what I want to do with it. I'm tempted to dye the tips black and the rest of it fire engine red. Maybe Purple. Go for the 'Blondie' look and do the tips black and leave the rest blond? Bubble gum pink streaks, maybe? I don't know.

It's been a bit since I updated. Life has been hectic. I attracted a transient named 'Jeff' who is the 3 year old President of the World (um, his words. Honestly!) who eventually ended up in Centre House, then the Meadows. I have been throughly chastised by my friends about letting strays follow me home. *sigh* I have a neon sign above my head that says 'weirdos: talk to me"

Just a side note It would be nice to figure out how to find someone who's a little more stable than any of my previous relationships. Of course, the really hard part is finding someone who doesn't mind that I'm a bit less than completely stable, myself. heh. With out even trying, my track record looks pretty questionable (and some would argue after the transient incident, I have a lot to learn about talking to strangers in general.) I'm a lost cause. I give up. I'm going to be the crazy cat lady.

Had a good time with Allō & Atom at the Balancing Rock down by Raystown. I really needed time to spend with them to re-center myself after everything. There was even more upsetting news, but it's a bit more private. A couple of friends have ended up at 3 South. One I can tell is pretty well medicated (just a step shy of the thorazine shuffle) and the other is just getting bad news heaped on top of her already suicidal state. I just want them well and back out among us 'living'.

well, it's not much of an update, but it's something. I love all you who know who you are. I realize just how lucky I am to have you as friends.