Saturday, April 21, 2007


Well, Havoc has had 4 kittnes thus far (1:45am). She started around 11pm last night. They were all healthy and mom is doing well. I'm exhausted. It's been a full day for me: individual therapy at 11, new (to me, otherwise used =) car finalized inspection, 2 loads of laundry, some clothes shopping at walmart (shudder!) and birthing 4 kittens. oi.

Things are going pretty well for me over all, I still have my ups and downs, and have been a bugger to try and contact. Sorry about that everyone! =(

I was officially declared disabled by the Social Security Administration, I have a bulging disk at L5/S1 (on top of Major recurrent depression with psychotic features and agoraphobic anxiety disorder and fibromyalgia. yay my team!!) I got my back pay and was able to purchase a used 1992 Audi CS100 (automatic. sigh. dumb knee and back) get some minor repairs done to it, buy a new Apple PowerBook, and still have money left even after buying clothes and a new pair of Birkenstocks to replace the black suede ones Demented threw out.

ahhhh, Demented. I wonder how he's doing. I hope ok....

I've started to call around to find an actuall apartment to myself come August. I have a lead that I'm hoping will pan out.

I continue my treatment at the partial hospitalization program, Counsel House. I'm glad I go there. It has helped me a great deal. I still have a long way to go, but at least suicide and cutting myself are no longer daily struggles to overcome.

I've started beading a little here and there, doing a great deal of pen and ink, water coloring, and soon to add photography back into the mix. I'm not sure where all of this will take me, but at least there's some semblance of a place to wander around towards now, you know?

Still listening to VNV Nation, but I've also added NIN to my usual mix. oh, and Funker Vogt.

Things are so-so with my mom. As long as I don't let on I have any problems, it's fine. That leaves us talking about the weather and her problems and dramas. I have to keep mine to myself because she "can't put up with my whining." ok. fine. I'll just listen to her issues for the last 16 years or so. whatever...

well, that's all for now and I know I owe people calls and letters. I'm going to try and play catch-up over the next week or two. Just have patience with me, please. I really do miss all of you and even if I don't respond, getting the pokes from people reminds me that I really do have people who care about me (which can be a blessing on days that I feel alone and isolated)

love you all,